Phd update: importance of crying

I am working on my PhD exegesis, examining how three non-Bosnian authors are writing about the Srebrenica genocide. Today I am typing up notes written at the top of each chapter of The Unquiet Death by Ausma Zehanat Khan. Emotion is pressing down on me as I read victim testimonies from the The International Criminal Tribunal. When I was reading the book these snippets were at the beginning of the chapter, a tug of sadness, a moment to mourn, and then I would dive straight into the narrative and be compelled by the murder mystery. 

But now typing them up, chapter after chapter, the weight is pilling on. The horror and pain is so evident, so sad, I can barely keep myself from crying. Maybe I need to cry, get the emotion out. I have cried so much while working on this PhD. Cried so much each time I dive back into Srebrenica and the horror of genocide. It is important that I cry, but also important that I continue the work, that I make my contribution to the understanding of this event and the way it is written about. At least that’s what I have to tell myself as I keep going.