Just finished watching season 1 of Zoey's Playlist and I feel cleansed. It's a musical show about a girl whose father is diagnosed with a fatal degenerative health condition so she goes to do a MRI to test herself and ends up with a magical power of hearing people's emotion through songs.
It is such a beautiful and magical show and so uplifting, and yet I cried during every single episode. Sometimes up to two or three times. These were not regular cries, but body shaking, can barely breathe crying. And as I watched the last episode I realised why I connected with this show so much.
I never got the chance to say goodbye to any of my parents. My biological father died when I was four years old. He went overseas to say goodbye after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and got so sick, he died and was buried there. My stepfather committed suicide at the end of 2018. My mother passed away suddenly from hypertension at the end of the last year.
I never got the chance to say a proper goodbye to any of my parents. To prepare, to grieve, to process. They died so suddenly, leaving me with such profound shock and trauma.
After my biological father died my mother said that I became different, I was so angry. After my stepfather died I jumped into caring for my mother, and had no time to pause. And then when my mother passed the weight of all these losses weighed me down.
I feel like I'm only just breaking through and processing. Slightly coming back to myself. But I can see that this will be a long journey.
Anyway, this is a long post but there are three things I want you to know:
1. Art matters. Books, TV shows, music, movies, art, dance and anything I didn't cover-it matters. Support art wherever you can.
2. Hold those you love close. I have learnt deeper empathy and love through my losses. I appreciate the loved ones in my life more.
3. Watch Zoey's Playlist. Your life will be uplifted from the experience. It's on Stan and it's been renewed for a second season.